World’s Okayest Pickleball Player

Daughter - Hey dad, want to play pickleball?

Me: I haven’t played much, but sure let’s do this.

That was three weeks ago, and for the last three weeks we (my wife, 2-3 daughters, a boyfriend or two, and an occasional friend) have met up on Sunday nights to play.  It’s been a great way to spend time with family & friends, get a little exercise, and enjoy the summer weather. 

The first night was full of laughs while we were getting familiar with the court, learning the bounce of the ball, and the touch of different rackets.  By the time we stepped onto the court the third night, something had changed.  To put it simply, expectations.  I went from "just get it over the net" to "I can dink and dunk with the best of them" and "let me show you how to put English on the ball".

This got me thinking…how is it that we can raise our expectations, up to and including the perfection, in things we've never done before?

Maybe you don’t play pickleball, but have you ever noticed how we expect to nail so many things on the first try? Things like cooking that new recipe, a sport, home or work project, or even that TikTok dance with your friend or child?

It's like we set these super high standards right from the start, almost without realizing it. I mean, think about it - when was the last time you tried something new and didn't secretly hope you'd be amazing at it right away? I'm guilty of it too. There's this pressure to excel immediately, or else we start doubting ourselves and maybe even give up.

But why do we do this? Is it because of social media, where everyone seems to be effortlessly good at everything? Or maybe it's just human nature to want to be great at something right off the bat. It's like we forget that learning and improvement take time and effort. Rome wasn't built in a day, right?

After some self-reflection, here are some of my thoughts on this phenomenon. I would love to hear yours!

The Quest for Instant Perfection

It's human nature to want to excel. We crave that feeling of mastery and accomplishment. But here's the kicker: studies actually show that our quest for perfection can sometimes backfire. According to research, perfectionism can lead to increased stress, anxiety, and even depression. We set such high standards for ourselves that anything less than perfection feels like failure. Sound familiar?

The Give-Up Factor

Here's where things get really intriguing. When we don't achieve perfection immediately, what do we tend to do? Many of us throw in the towel. It's like we're wired to believe that if we can't be perfect from the start, it's not worth pursuing. But think about it—how many great achievements in history were born out of instant perfection? Not many, right?

Embracing Imperfection

But what if there's another way? What if we embraced imperfection as a natural part of the learning process? Imagine a world where we celebrated progress over perfection, where small victories were seen as stepping stones to greatness.

Learning from the Best

Take athletes, for example. They train relentlessly, not expecting to win every match or set a new record every time they step onto the field. Instead, they focus on continuous improvement, learning from each experience, whether it's a win or a loss.

So, next time you find yourself starting something new—whether it's learning a new skill, diving into a new project, or trying out a new hobby—remember this: it's okay to stumble. It's okay to not get it perfect right away. In fact, it's often in those moments of imperfection that we learn the most about ourselves and our abilities.

Let's challenge ourselves to redefine success, not as the absence of flaws, but as the courage to keep going despite them. Who knows? You might just surprise yourself with what you can achieve when you embrace the journey, imperfections and all.

Here's to chasing progress, not perfection!

See you on the courts!

Brian