I recently teed off with a few unfamiliar golfers. I don’t know about you but when I go out on a course with new people, I get all up inside my head. I kid you not, I start questioning if I will be good enough and wonder if they will judge me. It’s crazy. I love the game and I know it’s me versus the course, but for whatever reason I get myself all worked up, begin to assume things that aren’t true, and oh boy my “gremlin” (see my April 5, 2024 blog – “Is that a bear or a gremlin?”) comes out in a big way.
Hold up, before I delve into the mind games and the more importantly the outcome of the round I referenced with these new found friends, let me offer some context particularly for the non-golfers out there. Golf is an individual game that requires you to move the ball hundreds of yards in a pre-defined # of strokes (hits). Your golfing partners are not attempting to stop you, disrupt you, or hide your ball. Unlike baseball, football, and basketball, you don’t have a defender following you or working together to stop you from hitting said ball. That said, there are trees, bunkers (holes filled with sand), ponds, creeks, and other obstacles. In addition, if you are playing with the right group of golfers, they are cheering you on, giving you helpful tips, helping you find lost balls, and offering gimmes (allowing you to pick up your ball without having to actually put the ball in the cup to finish the hole – wow, how nice of them).
So, if this is just us strolling around a serene landscape, where the lush grass meets the vast skies, why is it that we/I can’t easily move the ball from one end to the other? Well besides the fact that striking a golf ball with an odd-shaped club in aforementioned pre-defined strokes, it’s a huge mental “game”. According to Ben Crenshaw (winner of 19 events on PGA Tour including 2 Masters’ trophies),” I was about five inches from becoming an outstanding golfer - that's the distance between my left ear and my right one."
To take it one step further, golf isn't just a sport, it's a profound journey of self-discovery and personal growth. And like life, this journey and growth comes with lots of emotions including frustration, anger, happiness, anxiety and more.
Now back to the first tee of the round. As we all gathered together and made introductions, I quickly began to question my assumptions. Two friendly, disarming brothers out to enjoy the day and the other person an inspiring but humble young man just looking to work on his game. At that moment, I realized we are all amateurs just looking for a good day out on the course. No egos, no judgment, and no pressure. That said, by the end of the round there was lots of love and support with a sprinkle of banter and jokes. At the end of the round, we spent some time at the 19th hole getting to know each other further and ultimately left knowing we had future golfing partners.
On my drive home, I took a little time to reflect on my game, which wasn’t all about the swings and putts, but instead on the treasure trove of life lessons I experienced. While there are many, here are a few that stood out.
Patience and Persistence
One of the first lessons golf teaches is patience. Every hole presents a challenge, every swing a chance to practice patience. Whether you're facing a difficult lie or struggling with consistency, golf demands that you stay calm and persevere. Let me tell you – this round truly tried my patience all day.
This virtue transcends the fairways; it applies to our daily lives when faced with setbacks or challenges. Just as a golfer patiently lines up a putt, so too must we patiently navigate the obstacles in our paths.
Resilience in the Face of Adversity
Golf is notorious for its unpredictable nature. A perfect shot can be derailed by a sudden gust of wind or an unseen hazard; or simply chunking two chips or three putting.
Yet, it's in these moments of adversity that resilience is forged. Golf teaches us to adapt to changing conditions, to accept the unexpected, and to bounce back from setbacks with renewed determination. Life, like golf, throws curveballs at us when we least expect it. The ability to bounce back from a bad round, or bad shot, mirrors our capacity to rise above challenges in life.
Integrity and Honesty
At its core, golf is a game of integrity. Unlike many sports, golf relies on players to self-regulate their behavior and adhere strictly to the rules. So, when your ball is up against a tree, do you use the good ole foot wedge when no one is looking, or do you take your lumps and extra stroke.
This fosters a culture of honesty and respect for oneself and others. It teaches us that true success is not just about the final score but about how we conduct ourselves along the way. The integrity cultivated on the course translates into integrity in our actions and decisions off the course, shaping us into principled individuals.
Focus and Mindfulness
In a world filled with distractions, golf demands a level of focus and mindfulness that is rare. Every shot requires clarity of thought and full presence in the moment. The ability to block out external noise and concentrate on the task at hand is a skill that extends far beyond the game. It teaches us the value of being present in every aspect of our lives, whether it's at work, in relationships, or pursuing personal goals.
Humility and Grace
Golf has a unique way of humbling even the most skilled players. A round that starts with confidence can quickly unravel with a few errant shots. Yet, it's in these moments of humility that true grace emerges. Golfers learn to accept their mistakes, to acknowledge their limitations, and to approach challenges with humility rather than pride. This humility fosters a deeper appreciation for the journey, celebrating both victories and defeats as opportunities for growth.
Community and Camaraderie
Beyond individual achievement, golf is also about community. Whether playing with friends, family, or strangers, the camaraderie forged on the course transcends competition. It's a sport where bonds are strengthened, stories are shared, and friendships are forged. The support and encouragement received on the fairways remind us of the importance of teamwork and the joy of shared experiences.
Conclusion: Embracing the Lessons
In the tranquil world of golf, every stroke tells a story of resilience, integrity, and personal growth. It's a journey that extends beyond the course, enriching our lives with invaluable lessons that shape who we are. As we navigate the fairways of life, let us carry these lessons with us—patience in adversity, integrity in our actions, focus in our pursuits, humility in our victories, and camaraderie in our relationships. For in the game of golf, and in the game of life, the true measure of success lies not in the scorecard but in the character we build along the way.
Arnold Palmer (one of the most influential figures in the history of the sport) said it best, “Success in golf depends less on strength of body than upon strength of mind and character.”
While I may not have beaten my new found golfing partners on the scorecard, I do know that I am better off after the round than when I started. I look forward to the next time we cross paths.
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