In life, there are certain moments that serve as poignant reminders of the importance of gratitude. Today, as we celebrate the birthday of Carol Wheatley, the beloved matriarch of our family, I find myself reflecting on just how much she means to me and the profound impact she has had on my life.
Carol was more than just a relative; she was a guiding force, a source of unconditional love and support that helped shape me into the husband and father I am today. Her kindness knew no bounds and her patience never wavered. From her genuine empathy to acts of selflessness, Carol touched the lives of all who had the privilege of knowing her.
As I think back on the countless ways Carol has enriched my life, I am overwhelmed with a profound sense of gratitude. Unfortunately, in the moment, I did not appreciate the impact she was having, and I definitely did not explicitly show my gratitude.
If I'm honest, there were times when I felt she was too involved in our lives and was influencing decisions related to our kids, work, and relationships. While I can't pinpoint a moment when I was outwardly ungrateful, I have to imagine my thoughts & feelings must have impacted my behaviors. To this day I regret that I didn't give her the respect she deserved.
What does stand out to me, is that no matter my, or others, behaviors, she never changed, she rarely showed anger or frustration (mainly towards my father-in-law; sorry Terry) and was always, and I mean always, ready and waiting to jump in and help.
In the last hours with Carol, the family gathered around to share stories about what she meant to them; many of which were about her selfless nature and patience. While I enjoyed the stories, the moment I will cherish is our last hug. Carol died from ALS (aka Lou Gehrig's disease). If you know anything about that horrific disease, you can probably appreciate the state she was in at the end. Her muscles deteriorated to the point where she couldn't walk, dress, write, speak, swallow, or talk.
So, as you can probably imagine, that last hug was not a normal Carol hug. I should be angry that I didn't get to feel her embrace one more time, but instead I viewed it as my opportunity to give back a little of what she had given to me. I squeezed her tight, thanked her for everything, and let her know that I would do my best to live up to the example she had set. Although I was very sad, I felt a warmth come over me as if Carol were embracing me and letting me know that there was no reason to have regret and that she knew how much I loved and appreciated her.
To this day it serves as a reminder that we don't know when we will do something for the last time. So, as I experience life, big or small, I am motivated by Carol to appreciate these moments.
In a world that often moves at a hectic pace, it can be all too easy to overlook the blessings that surround us. So let this be a reminder of the importance of taking a moment to pause, reflect, and express gratitude for the people who have touched our lives in profound ways. Give them a hug the next time you see them!
As my family and I get ready to celebrate what would have been her 82nd birthday, I am reminded of the debt of gratitude I owe her. No words could ever fully express the depth of my appreciation for all that she has done for me. I owe her more than I could ever repay, and yet, I am determined to honor her memory by living a life filled with patience, kindness, and selflessness.
With love and gratitude,
Brian
PICTURE: this is one my fav pictures of Carol and her daughter, DiAnna (my wife)
Comments