Boring, Repetitive, Unsexy… and Totally Life-Changing

I was recently having a conversation with one of my daughters about habits.  She and her boyfriend are reading Atomic Habits, and she mentioned trying to break her habit of looking at her phone as soon as she wakes up each day. 

Let me pause for a second – proud Dad moment! 

Beyond her speaking my language, I was excited that she was already realizing the impact that could come from this small change.  You see, we often think massive success comes from big, sweeping changes. But the truth? It’s the tiny, consistent habits that make the biggest difference.

In Atomic Habits, James Clear emphasizes:"You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems."

When I read this for the first time, I was somewhat taken back.  For so long I had focused on goals to set the direction and to stay motivated.  And while that still holds true, what I was dismissing were the systems I put in place to achieve the goal. 

Quick story that proves this point – First Triathlon:

I played sports as a youth and would call myself athletic. But in early 2001 my athletic ability would be challenged. I’ll never forget the day my cousin called me and asked if I wanted to do a triathlon.  My first reaction was – what’s a triathlon?  Once I understood what all was entailed, I wanted to make an excuse for not being able to, heck I couldn’t even run a mile let alone complete three different sports back-to-back-to-back. 

Needless to say, I couldn’t back down from the challenge.  I called a buddy and asked if he wanted to do it with us and there was no hesitation.  This is where my system started (although I didn’t realize it at the time) – I now had an accountability partner.  We mapped out our weekly goals which include time and miles for running, biking and swimming.  I bought a membership to the YMCA for swimming and borrowed a bike to train/race.  I set aside time each day, typically in the evening, to train (slowly it became mornings which was an important change to my system).  

My wife and I had two small children at the time, but she was fully on board.  But as I mentioned above, I needed to make some adjustments so that I wasn’t continuously interrupting family time in the evenings, so mornings and flexibility each day became key.  Other parts of my system included changing my nutrition, tracking progress, trial & error with equipment, race prep and more. 

The point is, I couldn’t just rely on the fact that I played baseball and basketball in HS, I had to train.  And I couldn’t just put the triathlon on my schedule, I had to have a plan to get there.  In the moment I didn’t realize the impact of the systems I put in place, but I can look back now and admit that without them I never would have made it to the starting line, let alone the finish line. 

I wouldn’t suggest diving in headfirst like I did. But whatever your goal may be, it’s the small, consistent efforts that make the biggest difference. 

Let’s go back to my daughter’s interest in breaking her phone habit.  I too have struggled with reaching for my phone to start my day.  For me it was changing phone habits versus eliminating the phone.  I decided to make social media less enticing and finding another use for it that was more enticing.  I went from doom scrolling to time in prayer with the Bible app, which sets my mind on what God has in store for me.  As I tell others, I want God in my head before I get in my own head. 

I’m definitely not perfect and I find myself from time to time still clicking on social media.  But I now recognize that my attitude and thoughts are much more positive and energetic when I start with the Bible, which is a reward that keeps me coming back. 

Everyone is on their own journey so the actions and habits will look different for each person.  That said, there are some simple macro systems you can put in place today to get started. 

If you’re ready to commit, here are a few examples of where to start:

✔ Start Your Day with Intention – Instead of reaching for your phone first thing, take a deep breath, set a goal for the day, or read for 5 minutes.

✔ Improve by 1% Every Day – Small daily improvements compound over time. Learn one new thing, make one extra connection, or refine one skill.

✔ Replace “I Don’t Have Time” with Micro-Habits – No time for a full workout? Do 10 push-ups. Can’t read a full book? Listen to 5 minutes of an audiobook.

✔ Celebrate Tiny Wins – Progress isn’t always obvious, but small wins build momentum. Recognize and appreciate them!

Still not convinced you can change or start new habits?  Maybe some science and research will help: 

• Habits Are Formed Through Repetition: Research from University College London found that, on average, it takes 66 days to form a habit, not just 21 as commonly believed. The exact time varies based on the complexity of the habit.

• The Habit Loop: Charles Duhigg, in The Power of Habit, explains that habits follow a loop [Cue (trigger) → Routine (behavior) → Reward (positive reinforcement)]; so, modifying any part of this loop can help break bad habits or build new ones.

• Identity-Based Habits Work Best: James Clear (Atomic Habits) emphasizes that the best way to create lasting change is to shift your identity. Instead of saying, “I want to run more,” say, “I am a runner.” This shift makes habits part of who you are, not just what you do.

• Small Changes Lead to Big Results: The 1% rule suggests that improving by just 1% each day leads to 37 times improvement in a year (power of compounding).

• Your Environment Shapes Your Habits: Studies show that changing your environment (e.g., placing a book on your pillow to read at night) makes habits easier to stick to.

• Dopamine Reinforces Habits: When you complete a habit, your brain releases dopamine, creating a sense of reward. This is why celebrating small wins helps reinforce behavior.

• Willpower is Limited—Systems Work Better: Studies show that willpower depletes over time. Instead of relying on motivation, systems (like setting reminders, accountability partners, or habit stacking) create lasting change.

According to James Clear in Atomic Habits, “Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you wish to become." So, you can keep doing what you’ve always done or decide it’s time for a change.

What’s one small habit you’re committing to today?