Every election cycle, we’re reminded how polarizing politics can be, and this year was no different. As we all dig in and defend our beliefs, conversations with friends, family, and coworkers can sometimes turn tense. Presidential elections, in particular, bring out strong opinions, and it’s easy for differing views to lead to friction, strife, and even division.
I spent time this morning looking over the results, Presidential to local issues, and while I did, I took note of the importance of my relationships. No matter the differences, no matter the debates, and no matter the results, my family and friends are bigger than that. Just as if we were debating The Ohio State University and Michigan, or Miracle Whip or mayo, or even whether the dress was blue & black or white & gold (it was blue & black 😉), it’s natural for us to have a different lens on topics. These stem from our backgrounds, demographics, and experiences. Not one single one of us experiences life the exact same way as another.
That said, we as humans all have emotions and naturally can, to some degree, become passionate. Particularly when you are talking about the future of our country, inflation, and other sensitive topics. So, it’s important to remember that how we choose to behave and treat others is just as crucial—if not more so—than who ends up in office. Our friends, families, and even communities are too valuable to risk over a few months of debates and ballots. So, many of us have made a concerted effort through the years not to talk about politics or religion.
However, I believe that has contributed to us forming our opinions and beliefs in a vacuum with like-minded people. Not that there is anything wrong with surrounding yourself with others that have similar beliefs or interests; in fact, creating community is based in this premise and has many benefits (i.e. tennis club, bible study group, knitting club, etc.).
So, my approach over the years has been to break that glass and talk to more friends and family about politics. It has given me greater perspective, offered new opportunities to learn, helped me get more comfortable with challenging conversations, and helped me formulate my own opinions.
But it isn’t easy, and it can be risky. But what’s the alternative?
The Cost of Division
Politics has the power to bring people together, but it also has the potential to drive a wedge between us. Often, disagreements stem from deep values or concerns, which makes them feel personal. For some, voting can feel like a reflection of their character or worldview, and differing opinions may feel like a direct challenge to their beliefs. But when we allow these disagreements to overshadow the relationships we hold dear, the cost is far greater than the outcome of any single election.
While it's normal to feel strongly about political issues, a personal or ideological difference should not erase years of friendship. No vote is worth sacrificing the bonds that bring us joy, comfort, and connection. When we focus solely on being right, we risk overlooking the shared humanity that connects us with others.
So, what do we do about it?
Disagreeing Without Dividing
It’s not only possible to disagree respectfully—it’s essential. Although the general election is over you will face other challenges that lead to debate, so here are some simple but powerful ways to keep your friendships intact, even when your views don’t align:
Listen to Understand, Not to Respond: When someone shares a perspective you don’t agree with, try to hear them out without planning your rebuttal. Sometimes, simply listening can help you understand where they’re coming from.
Ask Questions with Curiosity: Instead of jumping to conclusions, ask respectful questions to understand why someone believes what they do. This helps keep the conversation open and productive, rather than defensive or hostile.
Respectfully Share Your Own Views: It’s okay to express what you believe, but doing so with humility and kindness helps create space for a civil exchange. Focus on “I” statements—such as “I feel” or “I believe”—to avoid sounding accusatory.
Look for commonalities: we tend to focus on the negative and prepare for an argument. What if instead, we sought out where we agree and work backwards. It sets a better tone for the conversation and disarms emotions.
Agree to Disagree: Sometimes, the best thing we can do is simply let go of the need to convince someone else. It’s okay to acknowledge that you may not see eye to eye on everything, but that doesn’t have to define your entire relationship.
Choosing Unity and Kindness
Election cycles come and go, but the relationships we build should be more resilient than any passing political landscape. Choosing kindness, respect, and understanding may not change someone’s mind, but it does contribute to a healthier, more united community. Imagine if we all valued our relationships more than our political differences; think about the example we’d set for others in our lives.
As you navigate tough conversations, remember that your friends, family, and colleagues bring value to your life in countless ways beyond their political choices. Let’s be willing to engage in thoughtful, civil discourse, to disagree without damaging bonds, and to see the person across the table as just that—a person, not a set of political beliefs.
In the end, how we choose to treat one another during tense times reflects what we value most. When we prioritize respect, empathy, and kindness, we create an atmosphere where differences can coexist without tearing us apart.
So, as debates rage on and emotions run high, let’s choose unity over division. After all, our friendships, families, and communities deserve nothing less. And oh by the way - I have confirmed that we have more in common than we like to acknowledge!
Thank you to those that have taken the time to have political conversations with me. Whether we agreed or not, I have a ton of respect and love for you.
Sincerely,
Brian Michel
PS I encourage all of you to get involved locally and do your part in a constructive manner.
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